This post is a glimpse into Book 2 of my Trilogy: The Little Black Book of Suicide Notes From the Beyond.
So what am I missing? Maybe that’s all there really is. Diamonds on the water. It’s sun piercing the water, lighting it full of all glimmer and charm. Why can’t the sun pierce me and I, too, would become a diamond? Nothing fell into place. It became a daily battle of war and peace and war and peace and finally defeat.
The sun became piercing heat, not light. It burnt me so harsh that life became unbearable. I sat and pondered for many a day and night. I pondered long days and sleepless nights, and yet the harsh burns began to turn me to ash. So I began to think: ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Let me be gone.
In remorse, I’m sorry I could not see the light they speak of.
I didn’t create a diamond; rather, I created ash.
I’m saddened by each heartfelt endeavor and failed attempt at life.
Yet in reflection from the Beyond, there may still be one avenue left unexplored. I have yet to cross my own Red Sea. Maybe that’s why I need to return to life. Maybe I need to explore death to its fullest to return to the other side of my own Red Sea of Freedom.